One of the things I hear most often from couples when they come into my office is, “We probably should have done this a long time ago.” It’s usually said with a nervous laugh, but underneath it is often a lot of regret. By the time they decide to reach out, they’ve spent months, and…

For a long time, I assumed routines were mostly about productivity. They seemed like something highly organized people enjoyed, people with perfectly color-coded planners, spotless houses, and enough discipline to wake up before the sun every morning. I admired those people, but I never really thought routine was something my own life needed. It felt…

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about stress is that we assume we’d know if we were stressed. We picture panic attacks, tears in the car, sleepless nights, or the feeling that everything is falling apart. We imagine stress as something loud and unmistakable, something that demands our attention. Lately, life has been gently…

I don’t know when it happens, exactly. No one wakes up one morning and decides they’ll become the strong one. There isn’t a ceremony or a title that’s handed out. It usually happens quietly, over years. Someone gets sick, and you step in. Your parents are overwhelmed, so you grow up a little faster than…

When most of us picture loneliness, we imagine someone sitting alone in a quiet apartment, eating dinner by themselves or watching television with no one to talk to. We picture empty houses, empty calendars, and empty chairs around the dinner table. It makes sense that we’d define loneliness that way because it’s what we’ve been…

Have you ever noticed how quickly your mind can convince you that the worst-case scenario is the most likely one? Your boss asks if you have a few minutes to talk tomorrow, and before you’ve even closed the email, you’ve already imagined yourself cleaning out your office. Your spouse doesn’t answer their phone, and your…

There are some stories that are so unbelievable they almost feel like fiction. If someone pitched them as a movie script, we’d probably shake our heads and say, “That could never happen.” Yet every once in a while, history reminds us that the human spirit is capable of far more than we imagine. One of those…

I have a feeling that if I asked ten people what comes to mind when they hear the words self-care, most of them would paint a pretty similar picture. Bubble baths. Face masks. Pedicures. Candles. Yoga. Maybe a massage or a weekend away. None of those things are bad—in fact, many of them are wonderful—but…

Most people probably don’t notice it. It’s an old antique skeleton key that hangs around my neck every single day. I’m not sure what it goes to or where it’s even from but I can tell you why I keep wearing it. It reminds me of who I want to be. There have been seasons…

One of the unexpected gifts of healing has been learning how to dream again. There was a time in my life when I wasn’t thinking five or ten years into the future. I was simply trying to make it through the next day. When you’re struggling with anxiety, grief, trauma, addiction, or depression, your world…