I have a feeling that if I asked ten people what comes to mind when they hear the words self-care, most of them would paint a pretty similar picture. Bubble baths. Face masks. Pedicures. Candles. Yoga. Maybe a massage or a weekend away. None of those things are bad—in fact, many of them are wonderful—but…

Most people probably don’t notice it. It’s an old antique skeleton key that hangs around my neck every single day. I’m not sure what it goes to or where it’s even from but I can tell you why I keep wearing it. It reminds me of who I want to be. There have been seasons…

One of the unexpected gifts of healing has been learning how to dream again. There was a time in my life when I wasn’t thinking five or ten years into the future. I was simply trying to make it through the next day. When you’re struggling with anxiety, grief, trauma, addiction, or depression, your world…

Standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon, I kept trying to capture it with my camera. Every photo looked beautiful, but none of them came close to what it felt like to actually stand there. No picture could communicate the depth, the scale, or the overwhelming reminder of how small I really am. And…

When most people hear the word trauma, they immediately think of the worst things imaginable. They picture combat veterans returning from war, survivors of horrific abuse, devastating car accidents, natural disasters, or other life-threatening experiences. Those absolutely are traumatic experiences, and they deserve every ounce of compassion they receive. But somewhere along the way we’ve…

One of the things I love most about being a therapist is watching people discover that there is actually a name for something they’ve experienced their entire lives. They’ll describe a feeling or a pattern they’ve noticed and then look at me almost relieved when I tell them, “There’s a reason that happens.” Suddenly what…

There is something deeply unsettling about allowing ourselves to be fully seen. Not the version of us that has learned how to smile when we’re hurting or reassure everyone that we’re “doing fine.” Not the version that accomplishes, performs, fixes problems, and keeps moving because stopping would mean acknowledging how tired we really are. I…

I think one of the saddest things I’ve realized as a therapist is how many people mistake survival for living. It’s not because they’re doing anything wrong. In fact, most of them are incredibly resilient people. They’ve survived things that would have broken many others. They’ve kept going through trauma, grief, betrayal, illness, addiction, divorce,…

I find myself thinking about more and more as both a therapist and simply as a human being trying to make sense of this life is how much power our stories have. Not the stories that actually happened, because those are fixed. We can’t go back and rewrite our childhoods, undo painful conversations, erase betrayals,…

I’ve been thinking a lot about grief lately. Maybe that’s because this season of the year always seems to bring it back to the surface. The five-year anniversary of my dad’s death came and went. Then his birthday. Then Father’s Day. It felt like one reminder after another that someone incredibly important to me is…